I have been extraordinarily busy the last 2 weeks. Some of you who follow me on Facebook know that I was really sick for four days, which put me behind in many areas. You can follow me on Facebook Here: Follow V. Anyway, I had to cancel and reschedule my coaching clients and technical projects had to get moved on the calendar. Needless to say, I was pretty back to back with meetings, which has left me little computer time. I was in people mode. Now this weekend I’ll spend time on the computer doing technical catch up.
Why do I tell you this?
Through my interactions with PEOPLE these last 2 weeks it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday after my last coaching session. READY, HERE IT IS: “We all need to remember to ask ourselves hard questions that we actually answer.” (This includes me, too. I’ll share my story in a minute).
My student was stuck. And this “stuckedness” was paralyzing her. It was like she was thrashing about in a pool when all she had to do was put her feet down because she was in the shallow end but she couldn’t. Sometimes we do not want to see what is right before us and we’d rather thrash about until someone throws us a rope.
My client has a major breakthrough yesterday. While she came to me for technical training, yesterday I was really pushing on her from a life perspective. I asked some really hard questions about what she wanted and needed in life. And I asked until she answered. Repeating myself when she tried to divert me. Maybe I was in a feisty mood but I wasn’t going to let her stay stuck.
The result was clarity. A clear, honest, vision of what she wanted for her life and business. A BIG AHA.
It was a calming aha moment where I could feel the shift and we could move on to the tactical.
Why was I pushing so hard yesterday? Well, two weeks ago as I was in bed sick with nothing to do but lay there I had my own AHA moment of sorts. And yes, I was so sick I couldn’t even have my laptop in bed so all I could do was sleep and think. Between naps I had time to ask some real questions of myself about what I wanted to do in my business and how I was going to get to my goal of multiple 6 figures. What was I willing to do/give up, what wasn’t I willing to do, what wasn’t serving me anymore – a real heart to heart with myself around my commitment to my goals.
So my QUESTION to you as your coach: ARE YOU ASKING YOURSELF THE HARD QUESTIONS.
And more importantly: ARE YOU WILLING TO ANSWER THEM?
Have a great week!
Asking the hard questions…
Powerful indeed!
But answering it always seems to be the hardest part, especially if you are the one being asked. No-one likes being put on the spot and no-one likes to be wrong.
But discovering the problem and learning how to deal with it are the foundational steps to making a difference.
Thanks for the posting!
-Dereck
Hi Vanessa,
Excellent question. Everyone has the answer if they would only stop long enough to dig deep and think about it although we might not be willing to face the answer that is lying there. Sorry you’ve been sick and are now running in catch up mode. I do know that feeling well. It too, will pass.
Hello V 🙂
Hope you’re feeling better… probably your body telling you to slow down just a tad!
It’s quite possible we all need to take time to reflect once in a while and check with ourselves we’re still heading in the right direction and remaining true to ourselves
Enjoy the rest of the week, look after yourself and take it ease … for a few minutes now and again!
I guess this is time for reflection for all of us. Fear of failure and fear of success prevent and inhibit us from asking the hard questions. We might not like the answers we get.
Ask and answer. those are important things. I would also add to that – take action. Act on the answers you have discovered. These things are all important.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi VaNessa,
Enjoyed your article – sorry you were so sick, but sometimes our bodies know better than we do when it’s time for a break! Being a textbook Introvert I have learned over the years to accept that I require a certain amount of down time to think things through. I’ve learned to use that time to ask myself those tough questions and yep, answering is the tough part. It was a lot easier to ignore the answers when I was an “employee” but now that I am supporting myself – I may not always like the answers I come up with – but there’s no hiding from them!
VaNessa, great post.
I have just gone through a big ahaa time myself.
Getting into that overwhelm yet again was what caused the ahaa this time. I finally came to the realization that there was no way I could take my business to the next level without help.
After 4 months of humming and hawing I hired my first VA last month and am now getting ready to hire a technical person. Best decision I have made in a long time!
Hi Vanessa,
Don’t you just love those A-HA moments!
When I was sick for several months I had plenty of them and it changed my life completely! I’m not sure 4 days would have been enough for me because the whole experience of sitting quietly with myself and just thinking was incredibly uncomfortable and I had to face a lot of hard facts!
I had been working 16 hour days and all I wanted to do was get back to work!
I’ve not worked for someone else since I recovered… it couldn’t have been a better experience for me.
So, I say, go through it, ask the hard questions… answer them… and move on to a greater life and plenty of A-HA’S!!
All the best,
Emma 🙂
Hi Vanessa,
Yes it is very important to be able to ask hard questions. If we do not we can not find out what our mistakes are to learn and progress. Many thanks for the great advice. I will be back to your blog. Take care Rosemary
Hi Vanessa, obviously, your body knew what it was doing when it became sick:-) Sounds like you gained a lot during that time you just slept and thought, sometimes we need that time to just “be”. I’ve been packing ready to move to another home lately, somewhere I’m really excited about. Although it’s stopping me from doing my business activities, it’s also a good break, and giving me time to think while I’m packing. Have a great weekend regards from Julieanne
Great post, VaNessa! You are so right that there are those times that we have to get away from the grindstone to find out where we need to be. (Needless to say, you want to hope that there are better circumstances to do this.) I’m sorry to hear about your illness, but I’m glad to hear that you figured something out about the tough questions.
Vanessa, I guess it sometimes takes our body shutting down before we will get off the treadmill of Doing to take some time Reflecting. I think this would be a great topic for a future post for your blog: Tough Questions People Are Rarely Willing to Ask…Or Answer 🙂