Today, February 18th, 2013 marks the 2nd anniversary of my husband’s heart attack.

I’m blessed to be someone that knows that EVERY day of life is truly precious.

I’m not talking that fake belief that most of us walk around with for our entire life.

Two years ago I had the biggest wake up call of my life. And it caused me to get even more serious about my business.

For a few months after the “incident” as we’ll call it, I was really messed up.

I went through a period of fear and negativity. I couldn’t shake the ominous feelings and my business stood still until I was able to grab hold of the fact that we were all still here, still a family, and I needed to be ME again.

Those of you who know me know I am a very positive minded person.

You know I’m a glass is half full girl.

Well, for a while there I was freaked out. Freaked out by thoughts like:

— I could have been a widow before I was 40.

— How would my children have coped with losing their father.

— How would I have coped the loss of the man I adore and love.

And every time my husband so much as sneezed or hiccuped I would go into a full blown panic attack.

It got so bad one night while I was washing dishes and hubby bent down to pick something up and groaned, that I remember having to run to the bathroom before the kids saw me start to hyperventilate.

FEAR is debilitating. I UNDERSTAND THAT COMPLETELY.

I got through these fears by seeking the help of a dear friend who was also a counselor.

We shifted my FEAR and channeled it into more positive thoughts and I processed the “incident”.

Now, thus far, we’ve been give 2 EXTRA years together. Honestly, everyday I’m grateful we have EXTRA time together. It is truly a miracle he survived that night. I will also be forever grateful to the doctors and paramedics. And I do see it as EVERY day is an extra we are a blessed with.

I knew I was going to write today as the anniversary of the “incident” always brings me back to the passion I have for my business. And the “incident” sparked the full on run I went on within my business where no excuses were ever going to be allowed.

All day long I thought about what I wanted to write. Not specifically the topic but to feel if there was anything that needed to come out of me.

Well, tonight I participated on a call with my dear friend and mentor, Diane Hochman.

And after the almost 90 minutes on the call, what came through for me is that I will never allow FEAR to control me like it did them. I won’t allow others to control me or situations that occur in my life. I am the QUEEN of my destiny. I am the one who is strong and powerful and caring and loving all mixed in one.

I’m starting a new phase tonight that you’re going to hear about over the next few weeks and months.

This song and it’s lyrics bring it all home.

You can read the lyrics here

And here’s the song: 

Please leave a comment or share. And I can’t wait to hear what you are up to and how you are being you!

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Theresa Key - February 18, 2013

You are such an inspiration Vanessa! I know that today marks the beginning of a new level of clarity, value and purpose as it opens the door for massive…unapologetic fun and excitement:-)

You are creating all of this fully present, sharing with your teams and helping people see their limitless possibility.

I’m reminded of my favorite scripture:
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

You’re leading with love baby! and I love watching you soar:-)

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Pat O'Bryan - February 19, 2013

I really enjoyed reading your words.
It is a wonderful privilege to share in the life of another. That intimate, close, independent time called marriage. To share the joys, the tears, the feelings of another. What a fulfillment! What ecstasy! What a Marvel it is to grow old together through the years.
I had that privilege.
My high school sweetheart became my bride,my lover,my sounding board, my ever ready spark of inspiration, my motivation to reach for a better life and truly my very best friend. My sweetheart is in Paradise now, Looking back now if I could, I would marry her all over again. She is still inspiring me to go forward every day, one step at a time.
There is a poem I”m reminded of its called ” OH I REMEMBER” here is the first four versus.
Oh I remember when we first met.
The smile in your eyes, and the glow on your face.
How we long to be together and go everyplace.
How we would hold hands, sit, and talk
Spend days together and go for long walks
.Life is so PRECIOUS
I believe God has given you a second chance,You can begin with a new understanding that life is so short. Take the time to share each other’s feelings, spend more time together, draw closer to one another.I know family is very important. Make these years your best years.
Vanessa I hope I haven’t been to personal I don’t mean to be I just know you are a good person and you deserve the very best…

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    VaNessa Duplessie - February 19, 2013

    Very very sweet Pat. I loved the poem.
    A long love like yours was precious. Makes me smile and gives me hope.

    Everyday is an EXTRA day for us. And we don’t sit and wallow in that at all.
    There’s no fear there anymore except on the rare occasion. Just a little awareness now and again.
    Thanks for sharing Pat.

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Kenny V - February 19, 2013

Fear has incredible power if we let it. You are an inspiration, and I am blessed to be around you. I needed to hear this today. I thank yo so much for everything you do.
I gotta be me!!!

It isn’t easy being me!!!

Kenny V

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Eva Love - February 19, 2013

VaNessa, I so relate to this “incident” and your reaction to it. My husband had his own “incident” last May and the doctors said that people who have that kind of “incident” don’t usually survive. It really threw me and it took quite a while for me to recover. You write so beautifully. I share your feelings of deep gratitude for my husband and his presence in my life. And your commitment to own my power and take my business to new levels.

Great article! You’re the BEST!

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Bill Jenkins - February 19, 2013

What a great reminder! In order to have any kind of success, we have to be congruent with who we are. Without congruency, we are like a fabled “Pushmi-pullyu” from Dr. Dolittles’ adventures. A peculiar animal with a head at each end of it’s body, it never really got anywhere because both heads were always pulling in opposite directions.

Your post today brought that literary figure to mind for me. When we are troubled by fear, or paralyzed by overwhelm, we are as ineffective as that poor creature.

Thanks, Vanessa, for reminding us how important it is to be ourselves, and not to be pulled (or pushed) by fear or confusion. (Although it does help when you give us a push in the right direction!)

Thanks again!

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Clarence Ely - February 19, 2013

Awesome! We have a choice to make we can let Fear paralyze us or we can kick that fear to the curve and move forward. When I first heard the story about you almost losing your husband, my heart was heavy. But you made a decision you were going to work hard so that you can bring him home from corporate, I believe. Wow, what an accomplish to see that, and him travel with you. You inspire me, because I want to travel and bring my wife Angie along side with me. So we can enjoy life together. Im trying to hold it together without crying. Thank you VaNessa Hugs

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Deanna - February 25, 2013

You are a truly unique and amazing person, VaNessa. I met you shortly after your husband’s heart attack and never knew about it until I read it in your blog about 6 months later. I am honoured to be your student and friend online for all this time. Looking forward to the day we will meet in person.
As Dr. Suess said: “… you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” !
Keep leading the way for us!
Deanna

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Mandy Sitko - August 15, 2013

VaNessa,

While I’ve known you for a few months, today was the first day that I was compelled to read your posts. This was the first that I read & I’m certain it wasn’t by coincidence. My family has been through a great deal of challenges that began before my memory starts. A family member told me that their goal was to break through the fear that’s holding them back. I’m sure I stumbled on your post for inspiration for us both.

We experienced over 30 years of “incidents” like yours & out glass half full perspective created an odd mix of everything will work out but what if this happens & be ready when… After my brothers passing in a counseling session, I realized how many layers of fear were covering my ability to happily enjoy life. My brother was gone forever & it looked like we’d never see his son again. If he were in a happy healthy home, that would be ok…but he wasn’t. I decided then it was time to release the fear. If he’d ever rejoin our family, he’d prefer to be with happy, emotionally healthy & fulfilled people. The fear is peeling away layer by layer (tapping helps), I’m grateful for the 30 extra years with my brother & happy to report that my nephew has rejoined a happy, healthy family.

Thank you for sharing & inspiring!

Warmly,
Mandy

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