The month of January 2012 was a whirlwind. I’m talking blur. I’m still somewhat stunned that it is February 3rd. As Kenny Chesney croons, “Don’t Blink!” Seriously, I look at my children and another month of their lives has passed. I see that my son has had a growth spurt and is getting closer to being chin height and his pants no longer reach his shoes. And my little baby girl is no longer a baby but a full fledged almost 5 year old who is now talking about best friends and what she does at school. I used to laugh when folks would say, “Enjoy it, it goes by so fast.” Many always eager to give advice. “It gets easier. You’ll learn as you go. You do the best you can.”

Well, you know what? I now completely understand what they’ve tried to tell me. I get it – only because I lived through it, so far.

As I thought about the above, I realized that what has helped me get through these almost 8 years of parenting was my resilience and positivity. There is no giving up when you have children. Once that child is here, you are all in – forever. At least that’s what I think about parenting. And since kids don’t come with manuals — it is a learn as you go, trial and error kind of role which I must say can be stressful, when all you want to do is your best to raise great kids. It takes time to teach them to learn to eat on their own and walk on their own and how to talk and behave. It is all learning for both sides. Especially when you have your first. Yes, it is so much easier with the second child. 🙂

Sure, you learn how to give baths and make their lunches, and set their clothes out – things that can be done repeatedly, almost on autopilot, along with the drives to school or sports. But when you’re child is complaining of extreme head pains over a few weeks and you go to the doctor and they recommend a CT Scan — that’s not something you can plan for or even go the the Parent Handbook to learn about. You hope and pray and call upon resilience. You’re scared but you get through it, because that is what parents do. You figure it out while you’re in the middle of it. (Yes, this really happened to me and my son last month and was a trying situation for this mommy. He’s fine now.)

Business is like parenting. It gets easier with each business you own or try. Yes, I made that jump from parenting to business. Stay with me dear reader, I promise there is a point.

So many times new and old entrepreneurs jump into an endeavor excited, a little nervous and raring to go. It may be a first business, it may be a third. This new business may entail learning a new trade or new tools. There’s learning, its fun, a little challenging and you feel good. Then BAM – your mindset hits a speed bump or your reality gets tested. Maybe sales are slow, or lead generation isn’t coming in easily or your advertising budget is being spent and there is no return yet. But you keep going because  you’ve just gotten started and you’re in learning mode and you know good is right around the corner. Now it is a few months later and you’ve learned more and maybe are taking some action. You’re still not seeing the results you thought you’d have worry starts to set in or you start to get discouraged.

Someone comes along and tells you. “Enjoy the journey, enjoy the learning process. You’re on your way. Never give up.”

You’re thinking to yourself, “Another year of this? I’m not sure I can handle that financially or emotionally, this is hard and the results aren’t coming that I expected. My spouse is cranky and I’m about done.”

The problem with “Never giving up” is that most people don’t have the support system they need to stay positive and resilient. They don’t have a place to get the support they need to get through the daily ups and downs of business. My suggestion is that everyone needs to find such a place. there are Facebook Groups and Forums and Business Groups. Just like parenting, which has moms and dads groups and churches who have support groups. Our industry has support groups too.

I am in a few great groups that keep me going and I have an accountability partner. And yes, I hire coaches to help me move faster through the challenge areas. I have rough days but I can tell you I do not think about giving up because I’ve learned better. I am having way too much fun in my business and helping other people that a bad day just means a good one is coming up next. And I know I have someone to call or email with for a pick me up.

Well, just like parenting, giving up is not an option (99% of the time) if you want to achieve success. Now, success isn’t for everyone and it is a choice. We choose to be parents, we choose to be business owners. I’ve been online 2.5 years. The first year was pretty much all learning. The second year was when wins started coming. And this third year I plan on making even bigger breakthroughs.

I’ve made it over the hump of wanting to give up because of 4 things:

1) Positive Mental Attitude – I’ve always been a glass is half full kind of girl

2) A good group of supportive friends

3) My coaches who keep me accountable and on track

Most importantly,

4) My students.

I know I help changes lives. And I know this because you tell me your stories.

Just like when my children learn something new, have a win and come running home to tell me about it I love hearing from my students on their wins and successes. “When you can help others get more of what they want, you’ll get more of what you want.” A very smart man said that.

My children keep me positive. After all, the lifestyle of freedom and flexibility to be with them when I want is my why. I see their successes and I know that my successes allow me to be able to witness their successes first hand.

The point: A new business like parenting is not easy and many of us start not knowing what we’re doing. And with parenting we can’t give up as too much is at stake in the life of another. I’d like you to think about that fact that with a business, giving up is not an option either as your dreams are at stake. And that’s not blowing smoke or being trite. Just like with parenting, we learn grow and shift as we learn. I’ve had many businesses and switched gears and made shifts to make things better but I’ve never given up being an entrepreneur.

What keeps you positive? What keeps you going? Am I completely off my rocker and you disagree? I’d really love to hear from you. Drop me a note and don’t forget to share this post as you never know when a share can help someone else.

All the best,

 

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Stephen Peters - February 3, 2012

I like your comment [The problem with “Never giving up” is that most people don’t have the support system they need to stay positive and resilient.] We all need to have a sense of community to help us along life’s journey. Those relationship are vital. It is like a child needs loving arms around him/her to grow and be their best. We all need those loving arms of relationships to help us grow as individuals.
I think what can work the best to keep me positive is to “give it away”. In other words encourage someone else to be their best. Giving what you want is the best way to get what you want. Sounds backwards. But think of the wheat farmer. He plants his wheat in the ground …. giving it up …. then he receives it back many time over……and ready to do it all over again.

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    VaNessa Duplessie - February 3, 2012

    Thanks for stopping by Stephen. It is a give and get for sure. The value of adding value is important. And of course as you say community definitely is a helpful piece of the puzzle. V-

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Bob Fernicola - February 5, 2012

Hi VaNessa, great post. The problem I see with most people is not so much that they give up early before the magic happens, but that that never even get started. It’s amazing how many people complain about their jobs, not enough money, spend hours on facebook playing games and chatting with friends but when asked why they don’t use the internet to start a home business their amazing answer is, I don’t have time, It’s sad.

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    VaNessa Duplessie - February 8, 2012

    Bob, Great observation…they never get started. I’m going to want to ponder that one some more. I have witnessed that first hand – especially among friends that I know I can help and they tell me they want my help and they never get anywhere because something always comes up before they get started. Hmmm, I feel a blog post coming 😉 Thanks for stopping by and sharing. V-

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Stephanie - February 7, 2012

I’m enjoying your blogs, they are so down to earth and real. Thank you for the time you have put into sharing them 🙂

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    VaNessa Duplessie - February 8, 2012

    Thank you Stephanie, I appreciate you being a reader. I strive to be a tell it like it is kind of person who shares from the heart. You telling me that you feel that makes me happy and tells me I am on the right path. Many thanks. V-

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marika miettinen - March 6, 2012

Vanessa, enjoyed reading this post. Never giving up is a must if you want to be successful… So is positive mindset and support. Thanks:)

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Oliver Tausend - March 10, 2012

Hi Vanessa,

your post speaks directly to my heart. We have two kids too and you are so right: There’s no giving up when you have kids. You’re always in the Now. At least, they push you to be there.

The thing I realized is that I am doing things because of my kids (such as building a business from home) and not like most people (myself included formerly) NOT doing things because of them.

“But how can you do that despite of your kids ?” Not despite, because of them…is the answer.

So we need to learn not to abuse our kids as excuses to do something we don’t like (such as a job), but “use” them as reasons to do something we truly want to do.

That is also something that applies to business, does it not ?

Thanks for sharing your insights.

Be blessed

Oliver

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    VaNessa Duplessie - March 14, 2012

    Absolutely Oliver. My kids are my why and that makes it easier. It’s a nice positive flip site to getting things done versus I can’t because of the kids 🙂

    Reply

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