Today’s post is not going to be typical for me and my writings. I warn you because you may want to stop reading now if you’re not ready for some lay it on the line, in your face comments from the 99.9% positive girl. I truly do live by the glass is half full motto and always try to find the bright side or upside in something. The last few weeks have been rough for me mentally and emotionally and I’m going to tell you why. You may not like it and you can stop reading at anytime.
The first point I want to make is I LOVE MY COACHING. I truly love working with people who are ready to take action to build their dreams. Whether it is small actions because they are working full-time or it is big action in their own self-employment, I love working with people who are ready to implement. TRULY LOVE IT.
The second point – I almost threw in the towel this last week and said, “NO MORE COACHING”. Seriously, I was heading down the path that if you aren’t on one of my teams, then you could not buy stand alone coaching from me. And here’s why:
I AM TIRED. I am tired of caring more about my clients success than THEY care about their success. Yes, you read right. Most people just don’t care as much as I do when I’m working with them. And what this does is leaves me drained and tired so that I don’t have time to get my own projects complete at the end of the day. Yes, that is me actually whining. I am annoyed at myself for that, it doesn’t happen often.
And let me clarify that this does not pertain to all of my clients. I’ve got some fabulous rockstar, kick butt and take names later students who are making it happen. (I’ll be highlighting some of them in future posts). The difference is their mindset and continual self-development. It all comes down to having your head on right and your heart on right so you can get your business right.
I am finding that many people want the success but they DON’T WANT IT ENOUGH to make changes in their life to get it. Marketing online or marketing in MLM is not a get rich quick. It is a 3-5 year plan and strategy. UNLESS you already have a huge team and huge following that will just go with you as you move companies or buy products. If you have a nice following, yes, you can have faster success to money. And if you are an absolute go getter yes you can kick some butt in a shorter time frame like 3-6 months – but you better be ready to go balls to the wall committed and believe. This is the reason so many people fail in MLM or marketing online year after year. The statistics vary from 93-98% of people failing. Whatever it is in reality is higher than it needs to be. Most people just don’t have what it takes because their mindset is off. They may have the desire but not the right core belief in their mind.
What that comes down to is mindset training before marketing training. Many people don’t have the mindset to jump into Entrepreneurship. They need to take the time to break through their own barriers of fear and doubt before they can even think of leading a team or selling to a list they’ve built a relationship with.
So, what I am finding is that many people who come to me for coaching are desperate and in save me mode. Everyday, I end up doing a free session or two for someone who is going to lose their house or has lost their job and wants to turn to the internet or MLM to find a quick fix. I ask if they have money to spend on advertising. They say No. I ask them if they have technical skills. They say Not much. I ask if they are willing to put in the time it takes to get going…they say yes if they can make 10K selling products online or through MLM in 3 months never having to talk to a single person just like some of the gurus are doing. Sigh – I am now tired once again.
People. This is NOT how it works. I will tell you, yes, the gurus (who are my friends and I love dearly) do not have to talk to people and hunt for people. People do come to them. But they’ve already been online for 4, 5, or 6 years. In the beginning they had to learn and they had to beat their head against the wall and get their mindset right and learn all the technical skills or save money to outsource projects. They’ll tell you that. They were not overnight successes.
But now there are systems that will help speed up the process for those who are driven. So, yes, it won’t take 3,4,5 years of pain. It will be easier but you have to be able to follow a strategy and implement. Most people fail to implement. And they don’t implement because they are scared and go into “What if” mode or overwhelm or excuse mode. Work to get past that then just do it, like Nike says.
I have been online in the internet marketing arena for since August 2009. And this year in 2011 is when I started making REAL money. More than hundreds a month and into thousands. I’ve won contests and had some really big wins because I took action and implemented what I’d been learning. But it took me those first 12 months from 2009 – 2010 to figure it all out. I devoted time and energy and I made a commitment. I gave up watching almost all TV for the last 18 months (except for American Idol and Glee) I get up at 4am so I can do some work and watch trainings for myself before the house gets up. I study, I pay for coaching. I pay for top level training programs and I IMPLEMENT on what I am taught.
Have I spent money advertising and gotten no leads – absolutely. Lots. This is how we learn. Testing. Have I been told “No, I am not interested in your product or company.” Tons. Next.
One of my coaches once told me: For every 100 people, 95 will tell you no, 5 will listen, 1 or 2 may actually join with your or buy from you. This is why if you don’t have leads and something of value to offer you won’t attract people to you. Then, we’re told to build a list and form a relationship with them. This is all true. This all takes time. Funded Proposals for marketing and the vow not to give up after 6 or 12 months. This industry rocks.
People buy from people they know, like and trust. People join people in MLM. People don’t join companies or products. They join someone who asked them who they know, like and trust. This is why warm market is where to start. Then you take a cold market lead and help them learn to know, like and trust you. It is not rocket science but it does take time to learn the skills.
I have been a personal development coach since 2001 when I got my certification. I believe in coaching and as I said before I LOVE MY COACHING. I also have 2-3 coaches that kick my butt over and over again when I am not in the zone.
The difference is that I am driven and can be intense and I think high level. I have been self-employed for a long time and I know what it takes. I have had businesses fail. I’ve had businesses succeed. I am resilient and daily I work on my mindset with audios or books or videos. I work my butt off.
I don’t want to want my clients success more than they want their success. And what I’m saying here is that I am going to stop that practice. It will take me time because that is how I am wired but if they don’t care enough to get their mindset right– then I can’t care about it for them.
With students I will guide, I will strategize, I will lead, I will motivate, I will teach, I will create, I will ask tough questions and I will care as much makes sense for each individual I work on an individual basis. (Meaning, you decide to coach with me and don’t call me for 3 months, I’m not chasing you – you’ve shown you don’t care that much).
So, I almost gave it all up in the last week and decided to focus just on selling my products and services and no coaching.
You know what happened? I had a call with one of my rockstar students earlier this week. She’s having some major wins and she’s taking action. I had another person in the last two weeks tell me I gave him his “Why” back and he’s taking action on what I’m teaching. For me, it doesn’t get better than that and I LOVE it. Those are the moments I cherish.
And then, one of my friends who is a coach reminded me – 98% of people won’t take appropriate action and this industry is NOT for them. So, don’t work with them. It’s my choice who to take on as a client. Duh. I know this – I just want to help as many people as possible to my own mental detriment sometimes. That is going to stop.
So, I’ve decided. I WILL keep coaching. I’ve gotten out of my momentary whiny funk and will hit the ground running for 2012 to continue to help people. Only, I will be more specific in my intention on who I attract and it will not be those who think I can save them. I cannot save you from challenges in your life. Only you can do that. We all have our challenges. Our mindset determines how we deal with them.
In all fairness to my readers take something from this post it or leave it behind. No worries either way. I had to get this off my chest so that I could move forward with a positive attitude in my daily work. By being open with you all it is to show you that we all have our ups and downs in life. And to be in integrity with myself I festered on whether or not to write this post and decided I needed to write it or I couldn’t sleep at night. Since I strive to be a no BS type of leader, I wanted you to know what was going on in my world. (The joys of having your own blog!)
Be empowered to take control of your world. Whatever that looks like for you – you have the power within to create the life you want for yourself. I leave you with this quote from Buddha:
“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.”
All the best!