Today’s post is not going to be typical for me and my writings. I warn you because you may want to stop reading now if you’re not ready for some lay it on the line, in your face comments from the 99.9% positive girl. I truly do live by the glass is half full motto and always try to find the bright side or upside in something. The last few weeks have been rough for me mentally and emotionally and I’m going to tell you why. You may not like it and you can stop reading at anytime.
The first point I want to make is I LOVE MY COACHING. I truly love working with people who are ready to take action to build their dreams. Whether it is small actions because they are working full-time or it is big action in their own self-employment, I love working with people who are ready to implement. TRULY LOVE IT.
The second point – I almost threw in the towel this last week and said, “NO MORE COACHING”. Seriously, I was heading down the path that if you aren’t on one of my teams, then you could not buy stand alone coaching from me. And here’s why:
I AM TIRED. I am tired of caring more about my clients success than THEY care about their success. Yes, you read right. Most people just don’t care as much as I do when I’m working with them. And what this does is leaves me drained and tired so that I don’t have time to get my own projects complete at the end of the day. Yes, that is me actually whining. I am annoyed at myself for that, it doesn’t happen often.
And let me clarify that this does not pertain to all of my clients. I’ve got some fabulous rockstar, kick butt and take names later students who are making it happen. (I’ll be highlighting some of them in future posts). The difference is their mindset and continual self-development. It all comes down to having your head on right and your heart on right so you can get your business right.
I am finding that many people want the success but they DON’T WANT IT ENOUGH to make changes in their life to get it. Marketing online or marketing in MLM is not a get rich quick. It is a 3-5 year plan and strategy. UNLESS you already have a huge team and huge following that will just go with you as you move companies or buy products. If you have a nice following, yes, you can have faster success to money. And if you are an absolute go getter yes you can kick some butt in a shorter time frame like 3-6 months – but you better be ready to go balls to the wall committed and believe. This is the reason so many people fail in MLM or marketing online year after year. The statistics vary from 93-98% of people failing. Whatever it is in reality is higher than it needs to be. Most people just don’t have what it takes because their mindset is off. They may have the desire but not the right core belief in their mind.
What that comes down to is mindset training before marketing training. Many people don’t have the mindset to jump into Entrepreneurship. They need to take the time to break through their own barriers of fear and doubt before they can even think of leading a team or selling to a list they’ve built a relationship with.
So, what I am finding is that many people who come to me for coaching are desperate and in save me mode. Everyday, I end up doing a free session or two for someone who is going to lose their house or has lost their job and wants to turn to the internet or MLM to find a quick fix. I ask if they have money to spend on advertising. They say No. I ask them if they have technical skills. They say Not much. I ask if they are willing to put in the time it takes to get going…they say yes if they can make 10K selling products online or through MLM in 3 months never having to talk to a single person just like some of the gurus are doing. Sigh – I am now tired once again.
People. This is NOT how it works. I will tell you, yes, the gurus (who are my friends and I love dearly) do not have to talk to people and hunt for people. People do come to them. But they’ve already been online for 4, 5, or 6 years. In the beginning they had to learn and they had to beat their head against the wall and get their mindset right and learn all the technical skills or save money to outsource projects. They’ll tell you that. They were not overnight successes.
But now there are systems that will help speed up the process for those who are driven. So, yes, it won’t take 3,4,5 years of pain. It will be easier but you have to be able to follow a strategy and implement. Most people fail to implement. And they don’t implement because they are scared and go into “What if” mode or overwhelm or excuse mode. Work to get past that then just do it, like Nike says.
I have been online in the internet marketing arena for since August 2009. And this year in 2011 is when I started making REAL money. More than hundreds a month and into thousands. I’ve won contests and had some really big wins because I took action and implemented what I’d been learning. But it took me those first 12 months from 2009 – 2010 to figure it all out. I devoted time and energy and I made a commitment. I gave up watching almost all TV for the last 18 months (except for American Idol and Glee) I get up at 4am so I can do some work and watch trainings for myself before the house gets up. I study, I pay for coaching. I pay for top level training programs and I IMPLEMENT on what I am taught.
Have I spent money advertising and gotten no leads – absolutely. Lots. This is how we learn. Testing. Have I been told “No, I am not interested in your product or company.” Tons. Next.
One of my coaches once told me: For every 100 people, 95 will tell you no, 5 will listen, 1 or 2 may actually join with your or buy from you. This is why if you don’t have leads and something of value to offer you won’t attract people to you. Then, we’re told to build a list and form a relationship with them. This is all true. This all takes time. Funded Proposals for marketing and the vow not to give up after 6 or 12 months. This industry rocks.
People buy from people they know, like and trust. People join people in MLM. People don’t join companies or products. They join someone who asked them who they know, like and trust. This is why warm market is where to start. Then you take a cold market lead and help them learn to know, like and trust you. It is not rocket science but it does take time to learn the skills.
I have been a personal development coach since 2001 when I got my certification. I believe in coaching and as I said before I LOVE MY COACHING. I also have 2-3 coaches that kick my butt over and over again when I am not in the zone.
The difference is that I am driven and can be intense and I think high level. I have been self-employed for a long time and I know what it takes. I have had businesses fail. I’ve had businesses succeed. I am resilient and daily I work on my mindset with audios or books or videos. I work my butt off.
I don’t want to want my clients success more than they want their success. And what I’m saying here is that I am going to stop that practice. It will take me time because that is how I am wired but if they don’t care enough to get their mindset right– then I can’t care about it for them.
With students I will guide, I will strategize, I will lead, I will motivate, I will teach, I will create, I will ask tough questions and I will care as much makes sense for each individual I work on an individual basis. (Meaning, you decide to coach with me and don’t call me for 3 months, I’m not chasing you – you’ve shown you don’t care that much).
So, I almost gave it all up in the last week and decided to focus just on selling my products and services and no coaching.
You know what happened? I had a call with one of my rockstar students earlier this week. She’s having some major wins and she’s taking action. I had another person in the last two weeks tell me I gave him his “Why” back and he’s taking action on what I’m teaching. For me, it doesn’t get better than that and I LOVE it. Those are the moments I cherish.
And then, one of my friends who is a coach reminded me – 98% of people won’t take appropriate action and this industry is NOT for them. So, don’t work with them. It’s my choice who to take on as a client. Duh. I know this – I just want to help as many people as possible to my own mental detriment sometimes. That is going to stop.
So, I’ve decided. I WILL keep coaching. I’ve gotten out of my momentary whiny funk and will hit the ground running for 2012 to continue to help people. Only, I will be more specific in my intention on who I attract and it will not be those who think I can save them. I cannot save you from challenges in your life. Only you can do that. We all have our challenges. Our mindset determines how we deal with them.
In all fairness to my readers take something from this post it or leave it behind. No worries either way. I had to get this off my chest so that I could move forward with a positive attitude in my daily work. By being open with you all it is to show you that we all have our ups and downs in life. And to be in integrity with myself I festered on whether or not to write this post and decided I needed to write it or I couldn’t sleep at night. Since I strive to be a no BS type of leader, I wanted you to know what was going on in my world. (The joys of having your own blog!)
Be empowered to take control of your world. Whatever that looks like for you – you have the power within to create the life you want for yourself. I leave you with this quote from Buddha:
“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.”
All the best!
This is a fabulous rant and I know how good it feels to get it off your chest. I think as coaches we have to lay the cards on the table in truth about what it takes to succeed. Funny, I’ve had people not join me on occasion because I didn’t lie to them and guarantee they’ll be at $10K a month in 3 months. These are dreamers and want something for nothing.
The people we seek out are those who want their own success and will work their butt off to get it. All online marketing is, is learning some new skill sets. That’s all it is. But it takes time to get the education. Just like taking college classes… we can’t expect to have that passing grade the first week. We have to go through the learning curve, make some mistakes but go all out to learn it. We have have to stay in the game and never give up.
Thanks for your honest and authentic view of what you’ve been experiencing and I’m glad you choose to stay in the coaching game. Those who are taking action and wants success in their life I know appreciate it too.
You’re awesome VaNessa!
Debbie Turner
Thanks Debbie, I almost didn’t write the post. That wouldn’t be with integrity of who I am and how I strive to be honest and open as a coach and leader. Some may not like to hear it and I am ok with that and I appreciate your comments as I feel they are an extension of what I wrote about. Onward and upward for 2012.
Great rant VaNessa! I appreciate your honesty!
Thanks Jodell. I appreciate you stopping by.
Great post Vanessa. Really drives home. Reminds me of the wakeup MLSP call I did on Friday. I can give someone the exact blueprint to what I did to get here in a year. Yes, it happened really fast and I as a leader don’t promise my results to them. But….again…I can hand them everything but guess what I cant? My drive, my why, my passion and my energy. There WHY has to be clearly defined and of the utmost clarity or they won’t be able to bust through obstacles. I never thought i would be where I am today and honestly can only coach people who are willing to work hard and join my team. GREAT rant. you should of called me!
Thanks Michelle. I almost did call you. I look forward to masterminding with you in December. Busting through obstacles is the perfect way to put it. We all run into obstacles, me included. I’ve said it before. I am no better than anyone else. I just have the drive to do what it takes and I want more people to get their mindset right so that they can “do what it takes” for themselves. I am solid and clear in my Why. It is what keeps me going when I bump into a tech glitch. My why is what helps me shift a negative into a positive. I promise to call you next time!
Perfect article for me to read today. I have a client who is frustrated that we haven’t accomplished overnight success. There is rarely an overnight success with internet marketing even with the new advances in social media. It takes time and commitment and a budget.
Glad to hear you are going to keep coaching. People need to hear the what you have to say even if it’s over and over again. Sometimes it takes awhile to kick in the subconscious mind what you are trying to get across to them.
Thank you Carol for the nice comment. I am glad I could be here for you today. Sometimes I just write what’s on my mind – good, bad or indifferent. My goal is to touch people’s lives and help where I can through my business. Sounds like you are in the same place and can empathize. I wish you well with your clients as you help them navigate social media. Social Media is critical even if it isn’t as speedy as one would like. All the best and hope to see you back here soon. V-
Absolutely brilliant – we are obviously of the same mindset 🙂 Great post hun x
Thanks Amanda. I love sharing with likeminded people! Hope to see you soon.
VaNessa,
What a great post! This is one of the many reasons why I love you and so many other people do is because you care, YET you don’t take any crap! I am proud to call you my “coach”, mentor , and friend.
Oh, by the way I hope I wasn’t one of your clients that drove you over the edge 🙂
TB
Thanks Tom – you rock as a student! I look forward to helping you with your continued success and seeing where 2012 takes you.
Very inspiring Vanessa and I must say that I agree with you on so many levels here. I am also considering to implement my own personal coaching with people next year when I am more free, so it is definitely good to understand your opinion.
A venture capitalist I was talking to the other day told me that they invest in companies that they believe will get them their invest back and more, and usually only 1 in 10 out of these companies will get that result they were looking for and just like you put it – Most of this people expect instant results without putting in any hard work thinking that “systems” will help them automate the systems. It’s a sad truth but success does not work that way, and I have definitely learnt it too.
I’ve been marketing online since 2008 and I never got any results until this year just like you. I had my own obstacles I needed to conquer before I was able to get where I am right now today and everyone has their own learning curve and obstacles they need to overcome. Yes, some people are going to experience the success they desire in a short timeframe, others like myself will take a much longer time.
Don’t ever stop coaching Vanessa, because just like a VC invests in a firm, you will find that it is the 1 or 2 students who experience success and results that will drive you further, and they are the ones who will show you that your coaching was worth while. Even if the other 8 or 9 never get to where they want to be, we should always learn to love them, because we are all human. It may take them a long time before they decide to take action on what they really want in life.
I definitely admire your love, passion and desire to help as many people as you can and you are definitely a role model in my eyes. 🙂 Stay strong! and I’ll always be here as a friend if you need me! 🙂 (Maybe halfway round the world this time.. haha)
Thanks Darren for sharing your story and your kind words. It made an impact on me to read what you wrote. I look forward to continuing to support you and be your friend even when you’re halfway around the world. Safe journey and I can’t wait to hear how your coaching program goes. You’ll be able to help so many people!
Hi, VaNessa — I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your article. You articulated something that I think every business leader has felt from time to time…I know I have. You sound like you have a lot of knowledge and a very big heart. Your clients are fortunate to have you on their team. To Health, Kim
Thanks Kim. I wish you a great coming year ahead. I hope to see you back here soon. VaNessa
Hey Vanessa, I love this post and I can so relate to it!! I have wanted it more for people then they wanted it. I spent hours with these people only for them to not answer my phone calls weeks or months later. I used to get really upset and think what could I have done better. My sponsor always tells me most of the people in my biz are going to quit and it’s who they lead you too. One thing I have noticed especially online is that people tend to get over whelmed really quickly and quit a lot faster. I was hanging with Tim Erway CEO of Magnetic sponsoring last weekend and I asked him what about how he handles new people in his business especially since most of them quit. His answer was that he doesn’t even call them until they are producing results. I think we tend to think in order for them to produce results we have to hold their hand. When in reality we are looking for the one’s that are self starters and take immediate action. I know for me I had to put a price on my time. How much am I worth a hour. That really helped me. I am feeling you big time with this topic and it is something that often weighs on my mind. I appreciate you sharing your story it is really inspiring! From the looks of your blog you are doing awesome. Keep it up! I think anyone that chooses to work with you should consider themselves very lucky! I am heading over to vote for your blog right now. I def give you 5 stars!!
Thank you very much for sharing April. I appreciate your support and kind words. Tim Erway is a smart man. I met him in August and enjoyed hanging out in Austin with him.
Your words really help me stay strong as I’ve heard it time and time again the same story Tim told. Makes me stronger in my resolve to step it up in 2012. Thank you!
Ah VaNessa, I think we all need to rant from time to time. So glad you did write this post and shared with us what you’ve been dealing with.
This is the reason I have no intention of doing one on one coaching. Of course I know it all has to do with the types of people we attract into our lives. A few years ago I had a few people convince me to coach them and I became extremely frustrated when at the end of the week they hadn’t done a single thing. These were professional ladies who seemed to really want this yet they couldn’t be bothered. I love to help people but only those who are eager to help themselves.
I’m sure you current clients are extremely pleased that you will continue coaching. I have a feeling that from this moment forward things will be a lot different.
Best of luck to you.
~Adrienne
Dear Adrienne,
It is always a pleasure to hear from you and I want you to know you are an inspiration to me. Thank you for the comment and the story – I know you can empathize! V-
Awesome, awesome, awesome post.
Did I say awesome?!!
VaNessa, you’ve managed to say what all coaches feel in one single post. Your words are true for all coaches, I imagine. But I am glad you’ve decided not to give up coaching. You are a great coach.
Being one of your “students”, I’d better end this now so I can go kick some butt and be ready for our next session! 🙂
Ha! Awesome Bob. Now get to work 😉 Seriously, it is a pleasure working with people who are as motivated and energetic as you. Makes what I do fun. I am glad we are colleagues and friends. V-
Vanessa,
I totally appreciate and agree with your article, especially in light of our discussion. Rant away :0). One of the most valuable lessons I learned from a coach offline a few years ago was not to call someone you are working with, Let them know you are available during certain hours and if they want it bad enough, they will call you. If you call them, and call them…. and call them, it will drain you. I also learned many moons ago – that if you make yourself available at 2 in the morning, someone will book the appointment, so set strict business hours for yourself. It’s interesting, everything in the end comes down to your Mindset – whether it be losing weight, exercising, taking responsibility for your finances, studying and working on self-improvement, building a business,etc – you have to have the right frame of mind to begin. I think as with everything else, the 80/20 rule will apply here – only 20 percent of the people, and therefore your students, will be able to do the necessary work that it takes to build a business online. It isn’t just the learning and studying, it isn’t just the focus and applying what you learned, it isn’t just turning off the TV (I also haven’t watched TV for the last 18 months), it’s also understanding that an online business isn’t a slot machine that you just pull the lever and it spews out leads, conversions and sales. There are many disappointments to be dealt with. It takes dedication, committment and a very, very, very strong WHY and belief in yourself that you will succeed – that failure is NOT an option. We need to just accept the fact that we can’t put what we believe in other peoples minds, no matter how much we want to help them. I like the adage – G-d helps those who help themselves. We can only do, what we can do. Always keep your positive mindset, so you can live healthier and wealthier and happier with passion, Holli
Holli….so may things are so right about your comment that I think I will leave it with a “Well said” and thank you for some reminders and great nuggets! V-
Hey VaNessa,
Thanks for such an inspiring post, when we met over a year ago I new nothing about online marketing. from your coaching I have learnt so much, and have been able to apply that offline and online, into projects I have been doing.
You are such an inspirational leader, and I am greatful for the coaching I recieved from you. I hope you never do give up your coaching 🙂 .
Be blessed you rock girl 🙂
Thank you Sarah, it has been and will continue to be a pleasure having you in my life. V-
Wow very powerful words and ones to adhere to, I can understand why you wrote it,and hope that now people reading this will get some inspiration,and find their why and desire,and start taking action.Thanks
Cliff
Thanks Cliff for the nice note. Keep moving upward and forward! V-
I love your authenticity VaNessa. We all want you to be able to sleep at night 😀 so I’m glad you wrote this post.
Thanks for being true to who you are and what you stand for. Your post has inspired me to continue on the track that I am on right now. There are so many great opportunities that lie in front of us EVERY SINGLE DAY (I am so grateful for that)…but it’s knowing WHICH opportunity to stick and following through all the way to the end that matters.
Your passion, energy, and enthusiasm to want it more for your coaching clients is obvious. Without say that’s NOT the place where you (or anyone) should be in IF they want to continue growth for themselves.
Thanks again VaNessa for being who you are.
-Jaclyn Castro
Thanks Jaclyn for being who you are and showing the world who you are as well…I truly enjoy watching your progress and the things you are working and I look forward to connecting soon. V-
Absolutely marvelous post VaNessa, always delivering the goods! Thanks for sharing and inspiring… Your ROCK girl!!! – Jens and Jason
Thanks for stopping by. Always good to see you both. V-
Hi Vanessa,
I guess it’s really true what I’ve often heard and read about entrepreneurship, that not everyone can be an entrepreneur. I can understand your dilemma. It’s really hard to help anyone who doesn’t want to help himself first.
That was timely of your student telling you of her success and of your coach friend reminding you that you are doing a wonderful job with your coaching.
Writing and letting it all out really works for some people and I’m glad for you that you’ve got your groove back on.
To your continued success!
Thank you Theresa for visiting and and I hope to continue to be able to inspired and empower other Entrepreneurs. Sadly, no, it isn’t for everyone.
Vanessa,
I got to tell you I’m pretty ticked off at this and for a couple of reasons. Many people fall for the hype of “It’s easy just pay me $$$ and follow my system” When that happens people get burned and the industry gets a bad rap. And becasue there are so many who fall in love with these sales pages they don’t understand what it takes to succeed. So they want more of what they can’t have..false expectations.
What you have outlined here is a bigger issue. An issue where people need to realize that it takes work. it takes a vision, belief, confidence, determination…MINDSET. We are our own worst enemy, distraction and ultimate cause of our success or failure.
However what I love about your post is how shared what most leaders know all to well but don’t want to put out there for fear. You shared what drives you the most and what kills you the most. I know that your heart is in coaching and helping people get their wins…big and little. I also know the passion you have and the tremendous joy you get when your students “get it”
I remember you sharing a video of Frank Kerns, where he says he used to hate his clients and now he loves them. And Isn’t it amazing that the more we charge the more we attract the right clients.
Ken Pickard
The Network Dad
Dear Ken,
It is always nice to have The Network Dad stop by and leave words of wisdom. Mindset really is critical, especially when we get into our own self talk. That Frank Kern video is awesome. I recommend it to all of my friends and to my students when we are working together. I always appreciate your insights even when you challenge me. V-
Hi Vanessa,
Straight from the heart of a very giving person. Very difficult to give and give to people that don’t take and run with the gift. Being in ministry work, I have seen it many times over the years people refusing to DO only resulting in their continued misery.
I was just at Rowena Bolo’s blog, and after reading your post here I am convinced of two things that are in immediate need when it comes to the internet/network marketing worlds,
1. Mindset education
2. Financial education
Almost think their is a need for a crash course before a person gets really involved in the mlm. It is definitely an idea cooking in my brain right now.
Awesome, honest, and inspiring post. I am sure 2012 will be an even more productive year for your students and the teacher!
God Bless,
Joe
Thank you Joseph. Your comment hits home. We do need mindset and financial education. Mindset education is something I stress with my students. This is a hard business and if your heart and your head aren’t in the right place then your business is going to suffer. Being an entrepreneur in the first few years is not glitz and glamour as many want to make it out to be. There is a steep learning curve. It helps when you work with others who know what they are doing and can make it easier for you. That is the value of a coach, but you still have to do the work as an individual entrepreneur. Thanks for stopping by and I wish you a great 2012.
Vanessa,
I totally feel your pain when it comes to difficult clients. As a web design company, we run across dozens of customers that honestly have no idea how to appreciate what’s best for them. We’ve told person after person exactly what they have to do to be successful online with their business and only a handful seem to listen. The ones that do manage to do very well and the ones that don’t usually crash and burn.
A lot of people get so caught up into wanting to be successful but simply don’t want to put the work in. I put in a good 50-60 hrs a week and drive my wife nuts sometimes, but that’s what it takes to make things happen for the every day business owner and entrepreneur.
It’s really sad that so many clients out there don’t want to listen to the experts when it comes to their businesses. It sounds like you have the right heart though and really do care about the success of your clients. Hang in there as the best is yet to come 🙂 Best of luck on a successful rest of the year 🙂
Hey Vanessa,
As one of your student, I would say you give fabulous advice. (And I immediately implemented your advice within 24 hours)
People who are dreamers… just let it be, maybe they are not suitable for entrepreneurship. I have talked to some people (I do give coaching myself), and some simply just wants to get rich without doing anything. I’ll just tell them straight that ain’t going to happen, and tons of time will be needed.
Those who truly wants success will do whatever it take and be responsible for their own accountability. I have 2 kids, with one of them 5 weeks old, a full time job, and I am still taking action working hard every single day with barely 4 hours of sleep every single day.
The thing I have decided for my own students… is I have decided to let go. Meaning, I will not emotionally drained by people who are not accountable for their own success. I will not constantly remind them to take action, I will let them run on their own and take this from a consultative approach. If a person is a leader, they will get back to me once they have done something and ask for me to review their work.
Your post resonates with me a lot. I want my students to succeed as well (I don’t care if they get better than me, I hope they do!). But if they decided they prefer bouncing around getting new shiny objects and losing focus despite me warning them the importance of focus.. it’s really their choice as an entrepreneur.
Please don’t give up coaching, you give such tons of value, and really… don’t get emotionally drained by people who don’t take action, because you know 98% of people don’t, and a lot of your students won’t ;).
Ps.) I’m building my own opt in offer and marketing funnel. What you shared with me make sense, and definitely something that triggered me to do just that. I will be busy with these activities. I will be needing your opinion when I have the blueprint and how it’s going to look like. I sure hope you don’t mind I don’t ask for your coaching consultation once every month instead of 1-2 weeks, because what I love about you is your high level advice (exactly what I need, not some low level technical stuff I can google it).
Dear Luke,
I appreciate the time you took to write this heartfelt comment. I appreciate you as one of my students who does what it takes even with obstacles like sleeping so little due to the pleasures of a brand new baby. I look forward to working with you more as your time allows and as often as you need to finish you projects. All the best! V-
Nicely put Vanessa. I love a post with some real grit and in your face message. You are right on all accounts and some of us come into something with our own expectations and then hope we don’t have to do the “actual” work to get there.
I use to think that way, but knew in the back of my head that my heart wasn’t in it to begin with. Learning to be realistic about my past situations and goals have taught me that I simply just gave up back then. I didn’t want to put the work into achieving my goals and asking for help only wasted their time.
What an eye-opener that was for myself. I have had my blog for about a year now, and it took a while to just a few visitors. Now, its a different story, but you never sit back and get complacent. There is still more work to do, more value to spread to others and more relationships to build. Thanks for your honest feedback and letter to anyone needing a kick in the butt! Go girl!
Sonia…you are so right about not sitting back and getting complacent. There is journey in the work involved. I want more people to realize the more they work towards their dreams they can truly have them. And if it takes a kick in the butt then I’m glad to do it 🙂
Hey Vanessa,
You were’nt tired just needed a huge big Hug one way or another !! 🙂
Bless You and keep up the Giving…..heres another Huge Hug….
David A
Love hugs. Thank you David! V-
Vanessa,
That was an AWESOME rant! I agree with you 100% I’ve been there as well. People want to get rich overnight but are not willing to do the do! We can’t make it happen for them. It can be really draining especially when we care so much. Thank you for sharing 😉